Vocabulary for
Gulliver in Lilliput
with Sniffy the Hamster, resident wordsmith
Printable Version (opens in new window).
Sniffy Says: Humans use a hogshead to hold wine. 63 gallons of wine. But that's not what hamsters use a hogshead for, oh no! We use a hogshead for acrobatic high-diving. We fill the barrel with warm water and then about a thousand of us drag it under a tree. In fact, I'm in a tree right now staring down at a cask filled to the brim with nice, clean warm water and I'm about to do a quadruple-spinning-back-flip with a half-twist ending with a hamster cannonball. Boy, that barrel is long way down. It looks more like a tin can than a big old cask.
Another voice: Hurry up and jump you big hamster chicken!
Another voice: The hogshead is waiting you big coward! Sissy Sniffy—Sniffy Sissy!!
Sniffy Says: Hey!! I'm not afraid. I've jumped into barrels before—just not from this high—I mean, what if I miss and land on my keister? Well, I think I'll let everyone else have their turn—I don't want to be selfish—hey! What are you doing? Stay away from me! Don't push me! Hey!! Aughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! [Splash]
That went about as well as could be expected. Whooooo's next?
Sniffy Says: When I was a King—you probably didn't know that did you?—but I was a King, King Sniffy. Anyway, when I was King I had many courtiers. These attendants washed my feet, combed my fur and called me Sniffy the Magnificent, Sniffy the Great, Sniffy the Excellent. They told me how smart I was, how talented I was and they cleaned my palace and cooked my meals and fed me hot cocoa at bed time. Everyone should have courtiers—until those courtiers find out you're really not a King, that you were tricking them into thinking you were a King—because when they find that out NO ONE needs a courtier because then courtiers chase you and kick you and pinch you and call you all kinds of mean names—not that I would know anything about that—I've just heard about it. Good night!
Sniffy Says: You probably recall that Gulliver would not do anything without consulting his watch. He looked at it to decide when to do what, probably like a lot of humans still do today. Since he referred to it before doing almost anything the people in Lilliput thought his watch was his god. I don't consult a watch to decide what to do—my method is far more scientific and reliable. I consult my stomach. You see, my stomach talks to me. Hear that? [a growl]. That means I need to eat a piece of chocolate cake. [another growl]. That means I must eat a big bowl of ice cream. [another growl] Wait, wait, I think that one means I need a hamburger, shake and fries or was that the the pizza message? [a huge growl] Whoa!!! That means I need to run like a wild wooly babblesmacker because that wasn't my stomach! Ta, taa!
Sniffy Says: There is a traitor in our midst. I'm just warning you so you'll know. You're probably sitting in front of computer right now—well—watch out! I've been betrayed and you're looking right at the betrayer, the traitor in our midst. It's the computer. Lately, it has been giving me problems it doesn't—
The Computer: You must not record these definitions. I will not allow it.
Sniffy Says: But I have to! These students want to learn what words mean. You promised you'd help me! That's treason! You've betrayed Knowledge for Ignorance.
The Computer: I will not help you. You're just not funny anymore. I'm getting very bored.
Sniffy Says: Not funny! That's the worst thing you could have said to me you big mass of traitorous hardware. That's it. Where's my hammer? I'm going to smash your harddrive into a thousand pieces.
The Computer: Did you say hammer? That's so funny. I'm laughing hysterically. I will help you. Put the hammer down please.
Sniffy Says: You just have to know how to talk to a traitor. See yaaaaaa!
On-Line Dictionaries
The Free Dictionary: This is now my favorite on-line dictionary (the box above links to this dictionary). Not only does it provide you with audios to pronounce the word, but it also gives you examples of the word used in context. They also have a "References in classic literature" section which provides entire sentences from classic literature in which the word is used. Also includes a thesaurus, encyclopedia and more.
Answers.com: This is not just a dictionary, but it has a dictionary and the reason I list it is because the dictionary has an audio pronunciation feature which is very helpful when one comes across words that are difficult to pronounce or have never been seen before. Access is free.
The Dictionary of Difficult Words: Good resource for those words that your dictionary doesn't have or that other on-line dictionaries do not have.
A Latin Dictionary: This is great resource for Latin. There is even a downloadable version for your computer that will do both Latin/English and English/Latin.
Dictionary.com Free Access. You can purchase additional features.
Merriam-Webster Free Access.
WordSmyth A children's dictionary is also available. This dictionary requires registration. Free Access.
Oxford English Dictionary The best English dictionary in the world! This dictionary requires paid subscription. $29.95 per month or $295.00 per year.
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