Odysseus and Polyphemos: The Interview
by Glen Draeger

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The great thing about being a literature teacher is that with a backstage lit pass you have access to literary superstars. Recently I had a chance to visit Odysseus and Polyphemos on yet another set of The Odyssey. They've been playing these parts for thousands of years and I thought it would be interesting to talk with them.

Mr. D: How do you like working for Homer? Is he a good director?

Odysseus: Oh yeah, he's great. A lot of directors aren't really interested in the characters. They just want to make a lot of money, but Homer not only gives you a lot of great action scenes, but a great plot. Even when I get back to Ithaka there's still a lot of story left.

Mr. D: Some critics like to point out that Homer didn't make these stories up, he just used the ones that were already there. So maybe he doesn't deserve the credit you're giving him.

Odysseus: Well, I suppose Shakespeare receives a lot of the same criticism, but without his writing style those plays would not be what they are today. I think the same of Homer. Think of it. Polyphemos and I went to acting school together. Homer approached us with this story and we both liked it, but we didn't think we would still be performing it almost 3,000 years later.

Polyphemos: Odysseus is right. We had no idea how big a hit this was going to be. Some of my fellow Cyclopes had some great parts and fairly famous ones too. Brontes, Steropes and Arges played opposite Zeus. They fashioned his lightening bolt. They teased me when I first took this part—said it wouldn't amount to anything and yet here I am the most famous Cyclops of all.

Mr. D: Did you consider or take other parts before this one?

Polyphemos: Honestly, I didn't have much luck so I spent a lot of time working construction in Mycenae, Greece and on Crete.

Mr. D: What did you do?

Polyphemos: I built walls—very thick walls. In Crete some of our walls are 57 feet thick. There just are not a lot of acting parts for a one-eyed giant. I thought the only fame I would ever have was being on the crew responsible for the Cyclopean walls in Ancient Greece and Crete, but then Homer came along and here I am.

Mr. D: And you must have wondered about the part initially. I mean, you eat six soldiers. You're a ruthless fellow.

Polyphemos: But it's the kind of part someone like me just couldn't pass up. I've always been a loner, never really took laws seriously and I love the country—farm life. But added to this is the pathos I get to display after Odysseus blinds me. I have some of the most important lines. I'm the one that in my anguish calls upon Poseidon to doom Odysseus' attempt to get home. Now, admittedly, it doesn't turn out exactly the way I would have wanted—I wanted him dead—but nonetheless his 10 year journey is because of me.

Mr. D: That brings up an interesting point. What do you think, Odysseus, about your part when you taunt the Cyclops not once, but twice and because of that spend the next ten years trying to get home? Kind of childish, don't you think?

Odysseus: Oh, without a doubt it is my favorite part. You see, you're looking at this literally, but I've always looked at this part as a symbol for every human being. The reason that I have to tell Polyphemos my name is that I must declare who I am—I must be who I am—to hide my identity from Polyphemos would mean that I was being untrue to myself. I'm looking for my identity. I don't want to be a Nobody.

Polyphemos: I think Odysseus reads too much into this. He's just being proud—he has to tell me who he is because he wants me to know who it was who hurt me. Pride, simple pride that's what motivates him.

Odysseus: Polyphemos has a big head but no—

Mr. D: Hey! Are those the Sirens?

[Odysseus and Polyphemos look at each other with an "oh brother" kind of expression]

Odysseus: Yes.

Mr. D: Oh man, they are gorgeous! Do you think you could get me an interview with them? I would really love to interview them. I don't think my time here would be complete or even worthwhile without interviewing them.

Polyphemos: Trust me, you don't want to interview them.

Mr. D: No, I do! I've always wanted to interview them. They're about as famous as you two—but about 1,000 times more beautiful.

Odysseus: Just let them go. I'm telling you, you don't want to interview them.

Mr. D: Just tell me, can you get me an interview?

[Odysseus looks at Polyphemos who shrugs his shoulders]

Odysseus: Yooo! Sirens! I've got someone over here who wants to interview you.

[Slowly the Sirens walk over and sit down.]

Sirens: [speaking all at once in a quiet, but angry voice] Hello Odysseus. Hello Polyphemos. [Odysseus and Polyphemos nod slowly. The Sirens then turn toward Mr. Draeger]. What do you want?

Mr. D: I'd like to ask you some questions.

Sirens: Are you famous? Who are you?

Mr. D: Glen Draeger, but my friends just call me, Glen.

Sirens: Well, peon, we've never heard of you.

Mr. D: I own a time machine. I'm a literature teacher.

Sirens: A time machine? A teacher? So what? What do you want to know and make it quick, scum.

Mr. D: How did you get this part?

Sirens: [looking insulted] How do you think we got this part, you idiot? We're gorgeous and we have the most beautiful voices you've ever heard.

Mr. D: Would you sing for me? I'd love to hear you sing. I'll record it and play it on my web site—dozens if not hundreds of thousands of people will hear it!

Sirens: What's your last question?

Mr. D: Last question?

Sirens: Oh brother! [the Sirens stand to leave then sarcastically say] Bye Odysseus. Bye Polyphemos.

Mr. D: Would you like to have dinner with me sometime?

[At this question one Siren kicks Mr. Draeger in the left shin, another kicks him in the right shin and a third winds up and lands a fisted blow in the center of his face sending him sprawling backwards. Then they walk off as if nothing of importance has happened.]

Mr. D: Aughhhhhh! My nose is broken! My shins are broken. I'm bleeding. [Odysseus and Polyphemos help Mr. Draeger up, set him in a chair and hand him a towel.] Man oh man oh man.

Odysseus: [after a minute] We tried to tell you.

Mr. D: I don't know what got into me. I'm a happily married man.

Polyphemos: Don't sweat it. It's happened to all of us.

Odysseus: You're lucky they didn't kill you.

Mr. D: What? They've killed people?

Odysseus: How do you think they got the job? Everyone knew that was going to be a great part. The Sirens with their beauty and song lure hundreds and hundreds of sailors to their deaths and only Odysseus and his men and Jason and his men ever escape them. We can't prove anything—but you don't want mess with them. Better just to stay clear—particularly if they ever act like they need or want you.

Mr. D: I'll remember that.

Polyphemos: You do that. Sometimes curiosity and desire is not a good thing. Odysseus resisted the Sirens by taking precautions: the wax in his men's ears and having himself tied to the mast. When it came to the Cyclops he let his curiosity and desire rule. Look what happened.

Odysseus: Come on, Polyphemos! What are you saying? That curiosity and knowledge are a bad thing?

Polyphemos: Of course not. But I am saying there has to be a balance, that there should be caution and respect—that knowledge is not in and of itself a good thing. It matters what we do with it. And I'm saying that some knowledge can be detrimental.

Odysseus: You've lived in a cave your whole live—so what do you know? [they both laugh]

Mr. D: [holding a towel to his nose] I noticed there are lot of god parts. Are these good parts for an actor to take?

Polyphemos: Oh sure. The thing about these gods is that they're really quite human. They get angry, they have mortal children, they love, they're jealous. Any good actor can find plenty to work with.

Mr. D: But doesn't it seem like the gods are just toying with the mortals? Odysseus' trip home is prolonged because of the gods, he makes it home because of the gods, he's even able to slay the suitors because of the gods. It's as if we are are chess pieces being moved about at the whim of a grand master. If he likes us we'll live if not we'll die—and we all die in the end anyway.

Odysseus: It's a difficult problem. Why do things happen the way they do? Sure, I make it home to my wife and son, but not a man who leaves with me from Troy does. What is fate? What is fortune? Why do the gods help some and not others? Why do some people die young and others live to a ripe old age?

Polyphemos: See? This is what I'm talking about. That is knowledge that you cannot know. Who can answer those questions? No one that I know.

Odysseus: That's not true. I believe in the gods. They're in control.

Polyphemos: So you're just some kind of robot?

Odysseus: No, but neither am I totally in control. It's like you said earlier. There has to be a balance. The gods helped me get back to Ithaka, but I also tried hard to get back to Ithaka. I used my craftiness and storytelling ability and strength to make it back—maybe I couldn't have made it without the gods, but maybe I was the only one that could have made it with the help of the gods.

Polyphemos: That's my point. We just can't know.

Odysseus: Well, my point is, I do know.

Mr. D: Thanks a lot for your time I really appreciate it.

Polyphemos: No problem.

Odysseus: You're welcome.

Mr. D: You wouldn't happen to have the Sirens' phone number would you?

Odysseus: [to Polyphemos] They never learn.

©2005-2012 Glen Draeger (all rights reserved)
Millstone Education: World Literature / http://www.millstoneeducation.com/worldLit